The Turning Point: A Journey into Personal Transformation - Stage 3
Stage 3: Preparation/Determiniation
The third stage of personal transformation is Preparation/Determination. In this stage, individuals may commit to change by setting specific goals and creating a developmental plan. It may involve researching and gathering information on the necessary steps to modify behaviour. Motivated by a sense of seriousness and the need for change, individuals may explore resources and organisations. It's a crucial research phase often overlooked, as people transition from contemplation to action without adequately understanding the requirements for a significant lifestyle change.
This post shares my experience of Stage 3: Preparation/Determination as I travel through the final destinations of my trip to the USA and Canada.
Destination 5: San Luis Louis Obispo, California
I was feeling much more relaxed after my incredible experience of being immersed in nature in Canada, and sharing lots of laughter and warm friendship with my bestie from primary school as we revisited our past. So I set off on the next stage of my travels with an attitude of “que sera, sera”.
From the moment I arrived in San Luis Obispo, it was non-stop sensory overload in the best possible way! I was staying with Sky Bergman, who is a Professor of Photography at Cal-Polly (California Polytech University) and her partner, who is a retired podiatrist with a mad passion for France. I stayed in their “bungalow” (granny flat) which was wonderfully decorated with quirky furnishings, an eclectic collection of art works, and a plethora of fascinating books.
After dropping off my suitcase, we set off to visit friends of theirs, who were hosting a “potluck” (bring a plate to share), and a house concert – so California!! The place was incredible! The house design was inspired by Spanish architecture; it featured high ceilings which created a beautiful sense of light and space, and the décor was very artsy. Outside the house, the property had lots of different spaces, each with its own feel and mood – there was a beautiful sheltered seated area for quite moments, a fabulous gardening bench with pots and gardening tools, and on the other side was a pizza oven and entertaining space. After meeting the hosts and some of the guests, we tucked in to some of the dishes that people brought and delicious homemade pizza from the pizza oven. Then the concert started, wow!!! It was this beautiful jazz singer and pianist who performed a fabulous repertoire of original compositions. The whole experience was just magical.
I had only ever met Sky online. We met through a mutual colleague who was interested in intergenerational programs, and when I mentioned that I was going to the US, Sky very kindly suggested that I come and stay with her. As well as being a Professor in Photography, Sky’s passion is filmmaking, and she was working on several projects that were in various stages of development – talk about taking passion projects to the next level!!
At the time I met Sky, she was promoting her wonderful film Lives Well Lived which features her grandmother and shares stories from older adults about perseverance and human spirit - definitely worth checking it out!!. She has since released the book titled Lives Well Lived — GENERATIONS: Resilience, Positivity, and Purpose at Every Age, which is available on Amazon. While I was staying with Sky in St Luis Obispo, she was working a documentary about Japanese Americans and their experience of the 2nd World War, but the film is centred around the tradition of mochi making. I was fortunate enough to join Sky for a couple of days of filming on location at Koda Farms, where she filmed and interviewed third-generation owners and siblings, Ross and Robin Koda. A short preview of the film has recently been released and can be viewed at https://www.mochi-film.com/
It was incredibly inspiring to see the way Sky lived and worked, and how she managed to balance her academic (paid) work with her passion projects, and still make time to spend with her partner, family and friends. She was actually living the life that I thought was impossible! Seeing this as a reality resulted in a massive mind shift for me, and I could finally see an alternative future. Also talking with Sky and her partner about France heightened my desire to return there as soon as possible.
I had always said that I would be happy to go back and live in France one day, and my husband and I had a vague five-year plan to eventually move back there. My husband is French and his family still live over there, and both of our kids had moved to Paris. Also, he had been working in Europe before and after the pandemic, so there would be work opportunities for him. During the time that I was in the US, the writers and actors strike had brought the film industry to a standstill, and he was stuck at home without any work. So, I suggested that we bring our long-term plan forward and start to work out how we could make the move to France sooner, rather than later. To which he agreed!
Destination 6: Lexington, Kentucky
My next stop was Lexington in Kentucky. It is funny, every time I told someone that I was going to Lexington, they would look at me curiously and ask, “Why are you going there?” Well, the reason I went to Lexington was to see an old friend from Paris who my husband worked with in a restaurant when we were in our early 20’s.
It was so good to see him and catch up on the last 30 years! He told me that soon after leaving France and arriving in the US, he worked for a very high-end restaurant in New York. While he loved it and learned a lot, the pressure of working in that environment took its toll on his personal life and his relationship. So, he left New York, and the opportunity came up to buy a fabulous French Bistro in Lexington, Kentucky called Le Deauville. If you are ever in the area, it is definitely worth a visit - especially on Tuesday Nights for all you can eat Mussels! It was great to see his success and his passion for his beautiful restaurant.
Destination 7: Brooklyn, New York
The last stage of my trip was in Brooklyn to attend an advanced teacher training workshop with Dance for PD at the Mark Morris Dance Studios in Brooklyn. On the way to Brooklyn, I went via New York and caught up with my dancing friend from Paris again. I told her about my decision to leave my job and my plan to move back to France with my husband. She was so happy for me and noticed the significant change in my mindset from when I first saw her only a few weeks earlier.
I was so excited to attend the Dance for PD workshop in Brooklyn. I first heard about Dance for PD in 2019 when I was living in Brisbane and working as a researcher in the aged care sector. Having been a professional dance for 10 years before becoming an academic, I was very curious to see what it was all about. Well, the first class I went to, I bawled my eyes out. Just seeing these people literally coming to life; their bodies lifted, and their faces and eyes lit up as they moved to the rhythm of the music and sang along to songs they knew from their heyday. The class was run by Dance for Parkinson’s Australia in collaboration with the Queensland Ballet and Queensland University of Technology. However soon after attending that class, COVID-19 arrived, and everything shut down. When things started to open again in 2022, there was an opportunity to do some online training to become a teacher, and because of my previous dance background, I was eligible to complete the training, so I signed up! Following that I was awarded a small grant to pilot some dance classes for older adults living in residential care homes and retirement villages. The classes were very successful, and all the participants really enjoyed them. I decided that I would like to continue my training to become an accredited teacher, so when I saw this opportunity to do more teacher training in person, in the US with the legendary David Leventhal, I jumped at it!!
The 2-day workshop was so much fun. We had several practical sessions and there were some wonderful teachers that were invited to run sessions – it felt so good to dance and learn choreography again! Dance teachers from all over the world attended the workshop and I became friends with a small group of fabulous ladies. We hung out together in the evenings and shared stories about our professional lives, and also our personal lives. All of them were running their own dance studios and offering classes to older adults and people living with Parkinson’s, which they were all extremely passionate about.
After the workshop, I set off on my long journey back home to Brisbane. Reflecting on everything I had experienced during my trip, one of the best parts was feeling connected again. It was so good to catch up with old friends, some of who I hadn’t seen for over 30 years; but when we saw each other again, we just picked up where we left off and it was like I had seen them yesterday. I was also amazed at how I felt such a strong connection with people who I had only just met after just a few days.
These shared experiences around common interests created a sense of belonging, and I felt valued and heard. The benefits of building connections are well recognised in the research literature, but experiencing them for myself was a valuable reminder of just how important these opportunities are. I also thought about how satisfied people felt when they were working on the things they were passionate about, and especially when they had created themselves. While I was passionate about my work, I felt constrained by the requirements of the organisation I worked for. I realised that I could do more if I went out on my own.
By the time I arrived back home I had set myself a new mission in life. Rather than investing my efforts into generating more evidence to show the social and emotional benefits of connection through creativity, I needed to spend more time creating opportunities for people to participate in these kinds of experiences. Not only would I be creating a more fulfilling life for myself, I would also hopefully be able to help others.