Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Cat
Learn Me Anew by Xanthe Golenko, November 2024
Acrylic paint and collage on canvas board. This artwork depicts moments that are important to me and things from my life that are meaningful, from my early childhood to the present day. The phrase at the bottom is from a poem by an anonymous author and reads “Learn me anew every day or know me not at all”.
My childhood dream was to compete at the Olympics in gymnastics. My idol was Nadia Comaneci (and my Aunty, who was a dancer and an actor). I trained hard to fulfill my dream, but a sudden growth spurt and injury to both my elbows requiring surgery when I was 16, forced me to change direction. I switched to rhythmic gymnastics and spent more time in the dance studio doing ballet and jazz classes.
In 1985, I turned 18 and was in my final year at Canberra Girls Grammar School (CGGS). Madonna, Duran Duran and Adam and the Ants were all the rage, and my life revolved around going to the City Club every Saturday night, hoping to meet a “Cordie”, and dancing into the early hours of the morning to You Spin Me Round (Like a Record). School did not interest me at all; I couldn’t see the point in half the things we were learning. I enjoyed art and fashion; I loved making things, but everything else seemed like such a waste of time – especially French – when would I ever need to speak French?!! I felt lost, insecure, and trapped in my seemingly predetermined daily routine over which I had no control. I went through the motions physically but was emotionally detached, just waiting for the day when I would graduate Year 12.
Then one evening after my ballet class, my ballet teacher asked me what I wanted to do when I finished school and if I had thought of auditioning for the “World Famous Cabaret, Lido de Paris”? That conversation changed my life. I had never heard of the Lido, but I had no plans for after school and Paris sounded pretty cool – even though I was doing really badly in French! The Lido only took dancers who were taller than 175cm, so my sudden growth spurt actually worked in my favour! My ballet teacher arranged the audition and in March 1986 I said goodbye to my family and everything I had ever known.
In Paris, everything was different. The buildings were so old, and the streets were made of cobblestone instead of bitumen. There were so many people walking everywhere and catching the metro and sitting outside drinking coffee and wine. I ate croissants for breakfast instead of slices of white Tip Top toast with Vegemite. I picked up delicious fresh fruit, vegetables, cheese, and baguettes every day as I strolled through the market, instead of going to the supermarket for the weekly grocery shop. And best of all, I was completely anonymous! I had never felt so free and alive. Fortunately, I had the strict discipline of dance and my job at the Lido which provided some boundaries and kept me grounded. The other dancers at the Lido, many of whom were also foreigners from countries all over the world, became my family as we travelled this journey of self-discovery together.
I started at the Lido as a Bluebelle dancer and began moving up the ranks. Because of my gymnastics training I could do some acrobatics and adagio, which earnt me some feature roles and I became the understudy for the role of Principal Dancer. After nine years dancing in a few different cabaret shows in Paris, Barcelona, and Japan, and marrying a Frenchman, it was time to return to Australia and begin the next stage of my life.
We lived in Sydney and had two children, and then moved to Queensland. At 39 years of age, I made the decision to go to university. I had never thought I was smart enough for university, but I was ready to learn and wanted to give it a go. It took six years for me to finish my Bachelor of Business degree, as I was juggling my studies with caring for the children, part-time work to help pay the bills, and looking after our home as my husband often travelled for work. While I was studying, I worked at the university doing administration on a large-scale research project funded by the Federal Government in the health sector. I had no idea what they were talking about at first and had to keep looking things up in books and on the internet! But gradually I became more involved in the actual research, and once I had finished my bachelor’s degree, I went on to complete my Honours Degree in Health Services Management, achieving First Class and was awarded the University Medal.
I continued my academic studies completing my PhD in 2017 in the field of Organisational Behaviour and Health Management. Following my PhD, I worked as the Project Manager on a trial to evaluate different models of intergenerational practice. The idea of purposefully bringing older adults together with young children to engage in meaningful activities, to improve health and wellbeing, was relatively new in Australia. It was also new to me, but I couldn’t get over seeing the faces of the older adults light up as the children came into the room, and the incredible bonds that were created between the older and younger participants. The project attracted a lot of media and public interest, and we became involved in the ABC award-winning production Old People’s Home for 4 Year-olds, which was then followed by Old People’s Home for Teens.
After this incredibly fulfilling experience, I began working as an industry-based researcher for a large, aged care service provider. I was passionate about developing programs designed to improve the social and emotional wellbeing of older adults. I established a storytelling program across the organisation that encompassed multiple projects and types of story work including life story books, posters, story circles and intergenerational storytelling and creative arts. The program proved be very beneficial and popular among the residents and clients, as well as the staff.
More recently, I have begun reconnecting with my own creativity, attending classes in art and ceramics, and I am teaching dance for people living with Parkinson’s Disease. I feel like I have finally found my “thing” in combining my two worlds of dance and academia and using creativity to improve wellbeing. Both of our children now live in Paris, and my husband and I are returning to France this year to set off on a new adventure once again.
Looking back at my school days, I wish that I had engaged more and embraced opportunities that the school had to offer. Things are not always exactly as we want them, and life is full of twists and turns that are unplanned and unexpected. When I reflect on all the things I have done so far in my life, I think my sense of curiosity overpowered my doubts and fears which could have stopped me from learning and discovering new things about the world, meeting some incredible people, and making meaning from my life experiences. I have learned to adapt and to try to make the best out of any situation. If I could talk with my younger self, I would reassure her, and encourage her to be kind, creative and to always be curious. There is so much out there to discover and explore, you never know what interesting new experience could be just around the corner.
And I am fluent in French now by the way!