The Turning Point: A Journey into Personal Transformation - Series Introduction
Introduction
Like many people, I have been through several life transitions including leaving home, moving and living in different countries, studying, working in different careers, becoming a wife, becoming a parent then becoming an “empty nester” etc. Some of these changes were somewhat planned, and others kind of just happened; some were good and some were bad. But I feel like most of these transitions were dealing with and adapting to a different context or set of circumstances. In contrast, this life transition that I am currently experiencing feels more like a transformation. I have become acutely aware of some of my underlying assumptions, beliefs and behaviours that were making me very unhappy, and I am consciously making intentional and purposeful decisions to reinvent myself and create a life that is more fulfilling.
A quick search on the internet suggests that personal transformation is a complex process that involves multiple stages. I found many different theories and models with varying numbers of stages or phases (ranging from four to ten stages), but there are some common themes that are fairly consistent, which I have condensed into five stages: 1. Precontemplation; 2. Contemplation; 3. Preparation/Determination; 4. Action; and 5. Maintenance.
Importantly, there is general consensus that the stages in personal transformation are not always linear, and individuals may revisit certain stages or face unexpected challenges during the transformation process. Additionally, the timeframe for each stage can vary significantly depending on the nature and scope of the transformation.
In this blog, I use the five stages as a framework to describe each stage of my current transformation experience using a narrative, storytelling approach. As such, the blog is presented in five parts, each of which corresponds to the five stages of the transformation process.
At the departure gate, Brisbane International Airport, June 2023
If I have to pinpoint a moment in time when I started my transformation process, it was when I set off on a six-week trip to the USA and Canada, and the events leading up to my departure.
About one month before heading off on my trip, my Aunty, who I was very close to throughout my life, passed away. She had a fall and was admitted to hospital in late 2022, then she had another fall in hospital and broke her shoulder. Unfortunately, she never really recovered. Her physical health declined rapidly, and she was no longer able to live independently in her own home. She moved into and residential aged care home early in the new year and despite the wonderful care that she received, her physical health continued to decline, and she passed away a few months later. I visited her regularly while she was in the hospital and the care home, and I was there with her when she drew her last breath. Her death had a profound impact on me as it made me realise that life and time are limited, and that I needed to make the most of every day, especially while I am still healthy and mobile, because who knows when it is all going to change.
Also, in the lead up to my departure, a few things happened at work that were very upsetting and caused a lot of stress, and I ended up having a breakdown a week before I was due to leave. I wondered if I should cancel my trip, but I just felt like it was something I had to do, even though I had no intention of it being a catalyst for a major change in my life.
I had been to the USA a few times before and had visited a few of the major cities including New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas. Each visit was at a different stage in my life, so I had very different interests and perspectives each time. I went a couple of times when I was in my twenties, and it was all about the restaurants, bars, shows and shopping. I also went when I was in my 40’s, with my 9 year-old daughter on an organised tour with her dancing school. On that trip, I saw the parent version; tourist spots, zoos, parks, Disney and a short 3-day cruise. So for this trip in my 50’s, I wanted to go to places that I hadn’t seen before and also visit some of the more regional areas. There were a couple of workshops and conferences related to my work that I really wanted to go to, and I had met a few colleagues online, who were living in the US and interested in the same things as me. Also, my bestie from primary school had been living in the US for the past five years, and I had promised her that I would go and visit.
After two years of COVID lockdowns, this was the perfect opportunity to travel, get some ideas for new projects, and see people in person. However, the trip turned out to be more than I had ever anticipated. It is hard to describe, but looking back now, at each stage of the trip, I went deeper and deeper into my thoughts about changing my life, until I reached the point of no return. Each place I visited and each person I met or caught up with, was exactly what I needed at the time; it was like it had already been mapped out for me!